Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I love to come home and write my blog. After a day of work, this is the way I have found to relieve stress or whatever I have gone through during the day. Everyone has stresses, just like everyone has a story. I hope that by me sharing our life, it might you help you through something you might be going through. Aren't we supposed to share life experiences?
So back to where I left off yesterday, Hudson had been born at 27 weeks 5 days weighing in at 2 lbs 5 ounces. He was absolutely beautiful. He did not look like a bird but like a little old man. A very skinny old man. He was all arms and legs. He reminded me of the unnamed's dad. He was tall and very skinny. The unnamed's dad had the longest legs I had ever seen on anyone. So, that is what Hudson looked like to me. We only got to glance at him and then they wheeled him away. We were all in complete shock and awe and totally in love.
The tears of rejoicing would not stop. He was here. He was breathing. He was tiny but he was here and fighting. He had a wonderful team of nurses and doctors fighting for him to live.
Now, it was time to take care of Megan. But, as always they just wanted 1 person with her and I was just the mother. But like before, I was not going too far. I knew that Matt would need me. I made some calls and by the time I got done making my calls, Matt came and got me. Megan was asking for me.
They told us she would be in recovery for about 45 minutes but when it all said and done she was in recovery about 2 hours. She does not take pain very well and does not come out of anesthesia very well. But this time, she was with it enough that she was asking about Hudson. She had gotten to see and hold him. We would talk about him while I was feeding her ice cubes. Matt and I would start talking thinking that she was sound asleep and she would look at me with rolling eyes and say "what did you just say?" She probably asked us that a million times. We would just look at each other and smile. We knew better than to laugh. She was in pain and we did not want to add to her pain by making her laugh.
When we got her settled back into her room. We got to go see Hudson. The hospital said as long as he behaved himself, he would get to stay at St. Mary's but if by chance he started having respiratory problems they would ship him off across town to Cardinal Glennon. I had already Googled the hospital and it was a great hospital. Yes, I am a Googler. But, we had hoped he would behave himself. So, we went into the NICU and we had to scrub from elbows down for 2 minutes. At that time, I would have scrubbed from head down to get to see him again.
We walked into this room where there were about 5 more babies in incubators, beeps and buzzers, air noises and soft lighting was the setting. There in the incubator laid our grandson. He was so tiny and had so many big wires attached to him. But, you could see his chest going up and down where his little heart was working away. I leaned over and started talking to him. I told him it would be ok and that we loved him. He was going to have to be brave and do whatever the doctors and nurses told him. That we had big plans for him. I said, " Hudson, Bennie and Poppa love you". He opened his eye closest to me like "Are you kidding me right now?" I just reached over to the unnamed and said "Did you see that? He opened his eye at me. He already knows his Bennie."
We (the unnamed, Matt, Matt's mom) went to leave and guess what we did? We went out the wrong stinking door and alarms started going off. Well, you know in a hospital if alarms go off in a NICU someone comes running. All of us just stopped and looked at each other. I said, "what are we going to do, stick him in our pocket and take him home?" The nurse at the desk came around the corner and she was laughing she said people do that all the time. She had already called security to tell them it was a mistake. Only us!!!
The unnamed and I decided it was time to go back to our hotel. I was too excited to sleep but knew I needed to rest. I remember starting to pray that night and praying that everyone would have a peaceful night and the next thing I remember my cellphone was ringing. It was Megan and they were shipping Hudson over to Cardinal Glennon. He did not behave himself. He was having breathing difficulties.
Once again, I turned to God and once again I prayed that whatever laid in front of us that we would be able to accept it and have peace about it. We had gotten to see and fall in love with this little baby and that was more than we had hoped for in the beginning of this ordeal. But God had shown us this little boy and I felt in my heart of hearts that He was not calling him home. I had a feeling God was going to show us exactly what He could still do in a world that doubts He even exists. We were going to get to tell our story of his love.
Throughout the night, I would wake up in prayer. My mind was in constant prayer while my body was so-called resting. I got up early, got ready quickly. There was a Dunkin Donuts right in the parking lot of the hotel we were staying at so we became very familiar with their coffee. And a few donuts. And I wonder why I gained weight the last couple of months. ha Dunkin Donuts coffee is that bomb, by the way. Talk about a blessing, having a Dunkin Donuts in the parking lot is a BIG BLESSING!!
We got back to the hospital and we started trying to get Megan on the mend so that she could go to her baby. Matt and the unnamed went to see Hudson and I stayed with Megan. She needed me more than ever now. We got to spend some really good mother/daughter time together and some not so nice mother/daughter time together. I would be lying if I made it sound like it was all candy and balloons because it was not. We all had our moments. But, we love each other and that is all that matters.
Love to all until next post,